Saturday, April 10, 2010

Inner Peace

Life in Jos, Nigeria continues on. School is in its last quarter and is going fine, kids are managing fine with their own school work, staying in touch with friends they see only on the weekends, church activities are going fine....everything is going on well, in spite of occasional outbursts around town, the state, or nation.

As I was making supper last night I found myself aware of the inner peace I was feeling and giving a word of thanks for it.

Most afternoons I head home tired from the day at school, and it doesn't take much stress added to the tiredness to where I feel exhausted and overwhelmed, but at the end of the week the load of work and family was feeling much more manageable.

It's amazing how much difference a positive attitude transforms life's challenges to become minor inconveniences.

At school this week I wrapped up a chapter on WWII in one class and discussed the Great Depression and earlier revolutions in others so perhaps that's part of why my own life's challenges seem so minor at the moment. Survivors of these events endured so much and lived to share their experiences.

When the kids and I were on spring break last week it was wonderful to take note of their frequent smiles and enjoyment of the restful week. I thank God that in spite of the many things, life is good and His love and care is ever present. May it also be apparent in your own life.

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Spring Break

After a good weekend of fun with the family in Abuja we are back in Jos and will be at the guesthouse for the next week. For the rest of the week I don't have any big plans. I did sit down and make a list today, but I don't feel compelled to exhaust myself with lots of baking or stress myself thinking about the reports I collected last week.

I do hope to do some baking. I have two pumpkins waiting to use and today I bought some cheese for pizza, but I think I'll put it off a day or two. I may do some marking too, time will tell. For now though, I just feel the need to rest and enjoy a few things I don't always have time for. Writing a few blogs, watching some mystery/detective shows on TV, reading for pleasure, tickling my kids...those kinds of things.

Tomorrow I will meet a longtime friend who has been inviting me for a lunch date since my birthday in October. When I realized I had no big plans I sent her a note and look forward to spending some time with her.

I have another lunch out planned too, but that one is a little sadder. One of my fellow Nigerwives is leaving Nigeria. Her children have pressured her to move back to her country of origin. I pray that it will be a good move and that her husband will follow. I also thank God that my family understands my calling to Nigeria.

Nigeria, and Jos in particular, continue to be full of uncertainties but we are still here and pray God will give us courage to trust Him. Uncertainties or not, I still feel God has work for us here in Jos.

Saturday, March 13, 2010

Living for the moment...

For the past two months we have continued to spend the week at the house on the other side of town and the weekends at our home at the guesthouse.

In between the longing for a normal routine in the midst of our constant state of flux I try to imagine that going between two homes is a luxury Truth be told, I miss knowing where I left my book, not worrying about leaving the kids' school stuff at the other house, having the right spices or cookbook when I need it, and the list goes on.

I've been thinking a lot about living for the moment; these days in Jos the dynamics of daily life often change with little notice. Last Monday, for example, there were rumours of possible riots so soon after lunch there was an announcement at school that parents were being called to collect all children and in about an hour everyone was on their way home. School resumed the next day, but that night many of us heard shooting and several received messages that attackers were coming from outside the state. In the past few days more then one group of suspected attackers have been discovered, some even today.


On Thursday students' attention was claimed during the morning while the Christian women of Jos marched past the school during a peace march. Some how my student's managed to finish their essay test, but it took a fair amount of effort...but then most school assignments demand an extra effort to be able to concentrate these days.

Even within our own family we live by the moment. Yesterday we had planned to spend the weekend in the Blue House, but soon after Amson arrived he suggested we go to the guesthouse compound and within twenty minutes we were on our way.

Living for the moment and being ready for any change...that's where we're at now. It can be exhausting and emotionally draining, but we trust God's steadfastness will sustain us.

Today, Saturday, we had some fun at school as the annual Carnival was held. It was five hours of fun for the younger kids as they enjoyed the zip line, horse rides, dirt bike and motorcycle rides, water slide, kiddie pool, time to chat for adults, and other games for the middle school kids. All was organized by the sophomore class and their sponsors and parents. For a few hours we parents just worried about our kids having fun and not getting sunburns.

Living for the moment...or perhaps I should not say "for" the moment, we live trying to concentrate on the most pressing demands so that the larger issues of security and stability do not overwhelm and consume us. Granted, those issues are vitally important, but as a mother and teacher I find I need to focus more on caring for the immediate needs of those closest to me, that is where my attention must go first.

Saturday, February 6, 2010

Still in Transition

It is now nearly three weeks since our last crisis started and we have been in our new flat for over two weeks. The house is comfortable with plenty of space; in typical African fashion we are only using two rooms as the kids and aunties choose to all sleep in one room. The only thing we miss is more frequent light. Rarely is there light in the morning and often we only have a few hours in the evening.

The kids like that it is easier to get to school on time and it will be much easier when Nat starts after school discipleship and when Nat and Annette have after school sports, but I find I have less time at school for planning and marking since we now go home together. Once I get home it takes a lot of effort to finish my work, but I finally set up a study space for myself so it's getting a little easier.

With all the adjustments it is finally hitting me that I still have some emotions to deal with. Since we live on a smaller compound now I noticed we spend more time together as a family. While that is good, it also means that I have not had much space to deal with my emotions The curfew is now 6:00 pm to 6:00 am so Amson is usually in the house by 5:30 pm and the kids and I are often home by 4:30 pm.

Sundays we have been spending the day at Dogon Dutse. The church is on the same compound so we attend church, have lunch and the kids have some time with their friends. With all the police checks we allow at least 1 1/2 hours to get across town. Before we could take the same route in about twenty minutes, but now there can be delays on the way.

School has resumed well. All students are back and classes are going strong again. I find it is taking me more effort to concentrate, but the first week back went well. I was lucky that I had done most of my planning already so it I only had to make a few adjustments the first week. The kids are doing fine in their classes too.

We continue to pray that calm remains and that we will eventually be tempted to take the peace for granted, but for now, security is still a priority that requires one's attention. Please pray with us that people of Jos and Plateau State will be able to trust one another again and not be tempted to fear one another. Without forgiveness, reconcilation, and the efforts of the government many wonder how peace will reign. As Christains, we are fortunate that we know the bringer of peace and that we can be at peace in God's hands. I also pray that opportunities to share the God of Peace will occur so that more will come to know Him.

Friday, January 22, 2010

Crisis 2010

This is day six of the most recent crisis in Jos. This is my second time around so I don't feel the stress quite as much and yet our life has been turned upside down a bit.

This was our second day at a new residence. My husband is concerned that we live so far away from the school where all the kids attend and where I teach so we have moved to a different Lutheran compound and may be here awhile. When we drove here yesterday the drive that usually takes under 25 minutes took about three times that.

There were many security checks as we passed through the areas where the crisis began. As we drove through the check points most passengers had to get out of their cars and walk, with their hands above their heads, until the got to the other side of the check point. Our police escort and the military we passed allowed us to stay in our car.

This new compound is just across the street from the school so I feel like Amson is quite relieved that we are here but the kids miss their friends and it's an adjustment to be uprooted. One nice thing is that my sisters-in-law came with us and the two other families on the compound have kids the similar ages to our kids so they can connect.

The other changes we're dealing with are that is that the flat we are staying in doesn't have light so by 7:00 pm it's dark. We are fortunate that the upstairs' neighbors are open to us charging laptops, cell phones and hanging out at their house.

There is still no news about when school will start. The first few days there was a 24 hour curfew and now it's from 5:00 pm to 10:00 am so it's a little hard to start school between those hours, though I suppose we could get creative if the curfew doesn't change soon!

Even though it's not easy on our family to be spread out between two compounds, our main concern is that peace can be maintained and that those who have been completely displaced and are left with only the clothes on their back, literally, can have their needs met and can heal from the terror they experienced.

I also reiterate what I said in my previous blog, in spite of all the craziness in the world I still believe that God is in control. I think it was during the second day of the crisis when one colleague called to see how we were and asked if I felt safe. I replied, "I feel safe in God's hand, but not man's." Perhaps those who have lived through a natural disaster have another impression, but I pray that they too can look to God for hope.

Friday, January 15, 2010

A Good beginning

We started our second semester at school and one thought that has often been on my mind is how God provides what we need, when we need it...

As I was preparing for the semester one of the things on my mind was how I could improve my course on government. I've taught the course a couple of times, but never made it a high priority since I was struggling with other courses; but the time finally came.

For the past several months I've been reading a book titled Steppingstones to Curriculum by Harro Van Brummelen (I ponder a lot when I read so sometimes I can only digest a few pages as I go) and as I read a few more pages during the break they really helped as I planned for the new term. I pray that the insights will make class content more real and meaningful to my students.

I'm the kind of teacher who is very comfortable lecturing the whole classtime, unfortunately students often get bored with that approach so I am TRYING to be creative, but it can be really hard. The government course will require more student involvement in presentations of activities and current events. I hope they enjoy it. They can also take the chapter quizzes anytime during the week so I hope they enjoy that freedom. Essay tests will be over a unit so that should also be easier on me, plus, by then they should have more to say!

This idea that God provides what we need, when we need it is something that has become more real to me as I get older and the African setting has probably intensified it too. As a missionary and an expatriot it can be really easy to isolate oneself or become insular. At times I think it is necessary, but other times it becomes a dangerous temptation as one might develop a superior attitude. Often I find that God provides a needed opportunity or interruption just when I need it so that I can grow more and be stretched in ways that deepen my relationship with Him and those around me.

May you too be stretched and challenged to deepen your relationship with God and those around you. Remember, God calls most of us to live in a community.

Thursday, January 7, 2010

A New Year

I'm feeling melancholy tonight; usually I try not to write when I feel this way so that I don't come across depressing. But here I am...

The break has been good. I did wear myself out some with baking before Christmas and managed to make a nice meal for Christmas Eve...then I crashed for a few days. Then I baked, packed, and cleaned for about thirteen hours straight before getting a few hours of sleep. The next morning we headed off to Adamawa, our home state, for New Years.

Our time in Jimeta and Bilachi was very restful. We love our house in Jimeta. It is so spacious and comfortable that we immediately feel at home. Our time in the village was good too. Amson was busy visiting friends and family while I took it easy.

Nat and Annette were out a lot with friends, new and old, and Daniel was in and out too as uncles went around with him a little. I had a little time with my mother-in-law, but since it's a challenge to communicate, we don't try much. She's a very hard worker, especially as my two sisters-in-law that live with us had to head back for classes before we left and Mama was left without all her helpers.

One afternoon I spent a little time with her washing a few dishes and watching her clean and smoke fish. It was amazing to realize how quickly the fresh fish dries up in her smoker; the fish caught that morning was dried before evening.

We came back yesterday and now I am trying to think about what I want to do before school starts. I don't want to stress myself too much, but we do have to celebrate Daniel's birthday.

His sixth birthday is actually today, but we will celebrate it two days late. I'm glad I have tomorrow to do the baking. Today I had a few brainstorms about what to do and what to make so I'll bake tomorrow. Amson promised to look for the remote control car he's been asking for; I couldn't find one before Christmas and the car I did find only lasted a few hours before starting to break apart after the first time it was dropped on the floor.

Nat was happy with the games he got to play on his PlayStation and Annette could hardly believe she got the phone. (Let's hope it lasts, it's already on its second life since it was dropped in the latrine in Adamawa, but somehow continues to work.) I'm enjoying the wall clocks my husband bought me. (Not very romantic, but I did ask him to buy one as our bedroom clock that had been a wedding present finally got hit once too often by a bouncing ball and couldn't be taped up again.)

This mood I'm in has been hanging around for several days, I started thinking about my Dad and sister Mary when the kids and I were playing Monopoly. (Mary and I often played board games when cousins came for a holiday.) Later I realized that the day we were playing was actually the same day my Dad had died two years earlier. Mary died in 2001, just after Thanksgiving. I know one thing that is hitting me more this year is how important it is to not stress so much that I forget to enjoy the moment.

With school starting up again I hope I can remember that. I always get so busy when school is in session and the pace seems more draining this year...I guess that's why I have allowed myself to work less at home.

Well, it's after midnight here in Nigeria and I still plan to get up before the kids to have devotions and get my baking started. I'm always in a better mood when I get up before anyone else and can have some quiet time before the TV comes on and everyone starts waking up.

One thing I have been very thankful for is a peaceful holiday season. After rumors of unrest in Jos, and some problems in a neighboring state it has been a relief to have calm where we are. I truly believe God is in control of our lives and even if He allows trouble to occur, I also believe He provides us with the fortitude to withstand life's challenges. May this year be a year where you turn more fully toward God and trust his control.